Our Paths Are Our Own

… There was nothing left for us but to pick up the simple kit of spiritual tools laid at our feet.

My 1^st attempt at the Steps was one of obligation and necessity, which resulted in a deep feeling of discouragement in the face of all those adverbs: courageously; completely; humbly; directly; and only. I considered John Baker fortunate to have gone through such a major, even sensational, spiritual experience. I had to discover, as time went on, that my path was my own. After many days in the Celebrate Recovery fellowship, thanks especially to the sharing of members in the meetings, I understood that everyone gradually finds his or her own pace of moving through the Steps. Through progressive means, I try to live according to these suggested principles. As a result of these Steps, I can say today that my attitude towards life, people, and towards anything having to do with God, has been transformed and improved.

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Free To Choose

Bible reading: Deuteronomy 30:15 – 20

Step 3: We made a decision to turn our lives and our wills over to the care of God.

“Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God – this is your spiritual act of worship.” (Romans 12:1)

Principle 3: Consciously choose to commit all of my life and will to Christ care and control.

“Happy are the meek.” (Matthew 5:8)

Everyone has a life or death decision to make. We have been created with the supreme privilege of free will, the ability to choose. Even when we are in the bondage of our addiction we still have choices confronting us. When we are in recovery, we face the nagging lure of choosing to fall back into our addictions. The freedom to choose brings with it the burden of the results of our choices. And these choices affect our lives and the lives of our children. Free will is our blessing and our responsibility!

God spoke through Moses, saying, “Look, today I have set before you life and death, depending on whether you obey or disobey. I have commanded you today to love the Lord your God and follow his paths, to keep his laws, so that you will live… And so that the Lord your God will bless you… But if your hearts turned away and you won’t listen… Then I declare to you this day that you shall surely perish… I call heaven and earth to witness against you that today I have set before you life or death, blessing or curse. Oh, that you would choose life; that you and your children might live! Choose to love the Lord your God and to obey him into cling to him, for he is your life and the length of your days” (Deuteronomy 30:15 – 20).

Although we may feel out of control with respect to our addiction, we can choose to set our hearts in the direction of life. We can choose to love God and begin to follow his paths.

God doesn’t force his will on us, but he is there if we decide to put ourselves in his hands.

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Giving Up Control

Bible reading: Psalm 61:1 – 8

Step 3: We made a decision to turn our lives and our wills over to the care of God.

“Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God – this is your spiritual act of worship.” (Romans 12:1)

Principle 3: Consciously choose to commit all of my life and will to Christ care and control.

“Happy are the meek.” (Matthew 5:8)

The thought of turning our will and our lives over can be attractive. When we give into our addictions aren’t we giving control of ourselves over to another power? Are we, in some way, giving up personal responsibility for our lives? When we are overwhelmed or wanting to escape, our addictions can make us feel strong or safe, attractive, powerful, or happy. So, in a sense, we are very comfortable with the thought of giving up control of our will and our lives.

We can simply change our focus to turn our lives over to God instead of the sources we have turned to in the past. The apostle Paul touched on this contrast when he said, “Don’t drink too much wine, for many evils lie along that path; be filled instead with the Holy Spirit, and controlled by him” (Ephesians 5:18).

When we are overwhelmed and in need of some kind of escape, we have a new place to turn. King David declared, “All who are oppressed may come to him [God]. He is a refuge for them in their times of trouble. All those who know your mercy, Lord, will count on you for help. For you have never yet forsaken those who trust in you” (Psalms 9:9 – 10).

David also wrote, “For wherever I am, though far away at the ends of the earth, I will cry to you for help. When my heart is faint and overwhelmed, lead me to the mighty, towering Rock of safety. For you are my refuge, a high tower were my enemies can never reach me” (Psalms 1:2 – 3).

God never changes; he is always present with us.

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The Love In Their Eyes

Some of us will believe in God, others can’t, still others who do believe that God exists have no faith at all that he will perform this miracle.

It was the change I saw in the new people who came into Celebrate Recovery that helped me lose my fear, and change my negative attitude to a positive one. I could see the love in their eyes and I was impressed by how much their “one at a time” sobriety meant to them. They had looked squarely and step 2 and came to believe that a power greater than themselves was restoring them to sanity. That gave me faith in Celebrate Recovery, and hope that it could work for me, also. I found that God was a loving God, not that punishing God I feared before coming to Celebrate Recovery. I also found that he had been with me during all those times I had been in trouble before I came to Celebrate Recovery. I know today that he was the one who led me to Celebrate Recovery and that I am a miracle.

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Commitment

Understanding is the key to right principles and attitudes, and right action is the key to good living.

There came a time in my program of recovery when the 3^rd stanza of the serenity prayer – “the wisdom to know the difference” – became indelibly imprinted on my mind. From that time on, I had to face the ever present knowledge that my every action, word and thought was within, or outside, the principles of the program. I could no longer hide behind self-rationalization, nor behind the insanity of my disease. The only course open to me, if I was to attain a joyous life for myself (and subsequently for those I love), was one in which I imposed on myself an effort of commitment, discipline, and responsibility to my higher power, Jesus Christ.

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Trusting God

Bible reading: Numbers 23:18 – 24

Step 3: We made a decision to turn our lives and our wills over to the care of God.

“Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God – this is your spiritual act of worship.” (Romans 12:1)

Principle 3: Consciously choose to commit all of my life and will to Christ care and control.

“Happy are the meek.” (Matthew 5:8)

It is not uncommon to link our perceptions about God to our childhood experiences with people who play powerful roles in our lives. If we have been victimized in the past by people who were capricious, abusive, distant, uncaring, or incompetent, we may now anticipate these qualities God.

Just because God is a power greater than we are, and the people who victimized us represent a power greater than we were, it does not mean that God will harm us if we entrust our lives Him. Even Jesus tells us that He didn’t entrust himself to man because He knew what was in their hearts. Nevertheless, He voluntarily turned His life over to the will of God the Father. “It is better to trust the Lord than to put confidence in men” (Psalms 118:8).

We have learned that when we place our confidence in people, our lives can be devastated by disappointment. We can’t let this keep us from ever trusting again. In working Step Three we can make a healthy decision to turn our will and our lives over to the only One who is worthy of being trusted. The Bible tells us, “God is not a man, that He should lie; He doesn’t change his mind like humans do” (Numbers 23:19). Then God has said, I will never, never fail you nor forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5).

We realized that we can’t make it all alone. This time we can stop being the victim. We can turn our lives over to someone who is really able to care for our needs.

We trust in many things, but it is best to trust in the only one worthy of our trust – God Himself.

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